Kelly L. Stone Asks “What’s Your Number?”

What’s your number? No, I’m not asking for your phone number. I’m asking you how many times you are willing to fail before you succeed as a writer? How many rejection letters are you willing to endure opening before you finally get that one “yes!” How many years will you be willing to write your stories, knowing that publication is that light at the end of what can seem like a very long, very dark tunnel? How many days will you go to your desk to write, never knowing if what you are putting down will ever be read by any other living soul, save for yourself?

Whatever that is, that’s your number.

Ten years ago, it finally dawned on me that if I wanted to realize my dearest dream by becoming a published author, I was unfortunately going to have to do something besides sit around and think about the books I wanted to write (I know. Astounding, isn’t it?). So I began getting up at 3:30 in the morning to write before work. I wrote five days a week, every week, month in and month out, for two years before I ever got a single word published. That was a short essay in one of the Chicken Soup anthologies. It was another four years before I found a publisher for my novel, but only after it had been rejected more than fifty times, both by agents and editors. Two years after that I wrote the proposal for Time to Write, which was promptly rejected a little more than two dozen times before I found an agent to represent it. My agent received at least a dozen rejections on the proposal before it finally sold.

By the time Grave Secret and Time to Write came out (roughly three months apart by sheer coincidence), I had been writing for a decade, in a little home office, in the sleepy hours before dawn, often wondering if I had completely lost my marbles.

Sometimes, in my less-than-hopeful moods, I would email an aspiring writer friend when I got up, tell her what I was doing, and end with, “What if it all comes to nothing?”  Invariably I’d have a reply when I got home from work that day, telling me that of course it was going to come to something. Of course it was all going to be worth it. Just keep writing. (All writers need a friend like that, by the way.)

And you know what? She was right. It was worth it. And it still is. And it always will be. But not because I eventually got published. That’s the cherry on the sundae. It’s worth it because writing is what I do, and when I do it, my day is complete. Writing, and dare I say even rejection, has made me better, happier, and stronger. Name one person you know, other than a writer, who could get told NO hundreds of times yet keep on trucking along, undeterred, undaunted, until she finally got a YES. Not many people out there can do that, believe me. So if you’ve received a ton of rejection letters lately—heck, if you’ve received any rejections at all– I want you to get up, go to the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and shout “Congratulations!” Only the strongest of the strong can endure the kind of rejection writers go through without getting unlatched from their dream. Only the strongest can reach way down inside, dig out that nebulous something, and sit down to write. Again. And again. And again. And again.

I’ll be honest. I don’t really have a number. It’s not like I’ll hit my ten-thousandth rejection letter and holler, “Okay! That’s it. That does it. No more writing for me. Give away the laptop, honey, we’ve moving to Kansas to become chicken farmers.”

No, I actually never really thought about success like that. I always figured that once I was in it, I was in it for the long haul. But I went to a coaching seminar recently and the presenter was saying that the creators of the cleaning product 409 named it that because it took them that many tries to get the formula right. Same thing with WD-40.

So it got me thinking. What is my number? I’ve been writing for ten years, mostly every day, which is roughly 3,650 days. When you look at it that way, since I’ve been alive a lot longer than ten years, I haven’t really been writing that many days of my life.  So for the sake of argument, I’ll say one million days. I’ll write for one million days before I give up.

But when I hit one million, I’ll probably change my mind.

What about you? What’s your number?

Kelly is offering a free signed bookplate to all who leave a comment and email her their snail mail addy. Also, one person will win a free lecture packet from TIME TO WRITE online class.

 BIO: Kelly L Stone (www.kellylstone.com/) is the author of GRAVE SECRET (Mundania Press, Sept 2007) which was called “powerful” and “well-written” by RT Book Reviews, and two books for writers: TIME TO WRITE: More Than 100 Professional Writers Reveal How to Fit Writing Into Your Busy Life (Adams Media, Jan 2008) and THINKING WRITE: The Secret to Freeing Your Creative Mind (Adams Media, Oct 2009). Her third book for writers, LIVING WRITE, will be released in Fall 2010, and reveal strategies of bestselling authors for staying motivated toward achieving long term success.

posted Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 | filed under A Day in the Life..., Guest Chef

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19 Responses to “Kelly L. Stone Asks “What’s Your Number?””

1. #Carol Burnside
   February 24th, 2010 at 12:22 am
   

   Hmm. I’ve never thought about how many rejections would be too many. I guess I don’t have a number.
2. #1Dianna Love
   February 24th, 2010 at 5:45 am
   

   Hi Kelly -

   I have to tell all of you if you haven’t gotten Kelly’s books you’re missing out on a chance to treat yourself. She’s given writers a couple of terrific books. Time to Write is about how to find just that and is full of advice from a list of great authors she interviewed. And Thinking Write is probably one of the best books out there that will teach you how to tap into your subconscious for information to do with your story. (She can explain it better) This book is great for pantsers and plotters, but one of those rare books that is especially helpful for pantsers.

   About having a number. I’m someone who is in something a hundred percent or not at all. If writing had been a casual thing for me I’d have known by the end of a year (or sooner) moved on, but once something becomes a passion I can’t stop pushing. My husband says when I want to do something I’m like Bill Murray after the groundhog in Caddy Shack.

   We had someone in our Golden Heart finaling group who won her category of the GH but didn’t sell the book so she said “I’ve been writing 20 years, I’ve got bazillions of rejections and that’s my best so I’m done”. Long story short, we wouldn’t let her quit (which is where the whole Wet Noodle Posse thing came from – tell you about that another time) and six months later a different story finaled in a chapter contest and sold. She’s been selling to Steeple Hill ever since and has a serious career.

   (see you next week when I get back from Sleuthfest)
3. #2Debbie Kaufman
   February 24th, 2010 at 6:43 am
   

   Hey Kelly, I don’t think I have a number, or, if I do, it is way higher than the 2 rejections I’ve gotten so far. I think that knowing that am committed to telling the best stories that I can helps me not focus on the numbers. Of course, you can check back with me after I hit 100 or more and see if I still have the same attitude I think I know myself well enough to believe that I will.
4. #3Maxine Davis
   February 24th, 2010 at 7:23 am
   

   Kelly, Wow, I’m impressed. 3:30 every day. And I thought I was an early riser.
   I have a few rejection letters, but I am serious about writring and getting published so I’ll just keep at it until it happens! I’m going to buy your books. They sound great.
5. #4Kelly L Stone
   February 24th, 2010 at 7:55 am
   

   Hi ladies,

   Wow! You folks are really on the ball! I wasn’t expecting to have 4 comments at 6:30 in the morning!

   Thanks Carol, Dianna, Debbie, and Maxine for your comments. I am not surprised that none of you have a number. Other writers can be such an inspiration to us in terms of hanging in there.

   Send your snail mail addy to me at kelly@kellylstone.com and I’ll mail you a signed bookplate, and I’ll do the drawing for the lecture packet tonight.

   BTW, if you haven’t read Dianna’s book BREAK INTO FICTION– GET IT! Best book I’ve got for helping plot out a novel.

   Cheers!
   Kelly
6. #5Marilyn Baron
   February 24th, 2010 at 7:57 am
   

   Thanks for the inspiration. I once read that James Patterson was rejected 85 times before he was published and many well-known authors had the same experience. It always seems to be darkest before the dawn. My clients call me a bull dog because I never give up so I imagine I’ll never give up trying to become published.

   Marilyn
7. #6Kelly L Stone
   February 24th, 2010 at 8:02 am
   

   Hi Marilyn!

   Good for you! Don’t give up!!

   I have interviewed many writers– now national bestsellers– who received 85-100 rejections before they broke through. Not unusual at all.

   Thanks for your comment,
   Kelly
8. #7Tammy Gallant
   February 24th, 2010 at 8:29 am
   

   I’ve written down the daydreams that I’ve had all of my life. I will continue to do that no matter how many rejections I get. I write for me and, if someone else wants to read it, that’s just a bonus.
9. #8Susan
   February 24th, 2010 at 8:34 am
   

   Kelly,
   Thanks for joining us today. I guess there is no number to high for me where rejections are concerned. I got over 300 for my nonfiction book. Yes, you would have thought I would’ve stop before that many, but I knew I had a book worth publishing. Despite all the rejections, a small publsiher pick up Nick’s New Heart and it was a great match. I do believe sometimes we have to wait until the timing and the publsiher are right. I’m proud of the outcome and it was a great experience. Well, worth the rejections.
10. #9Linsey Lanier
    February 24th, 2010 at 8:38 am
    

    Thanks for being with us today, Kelly. Your post is true inspiration. I loved “Time to Write.” I can’t believe it was rejected over two dozen times! They are all wishing they said yes now. That gives me hope.

    My number? Funny you should put it that way. I was just thinking this morning that I would go for 30 rejections on my latest project. That number pales compared to yours. Guess I’ll have to rethink that. Thanks for the nudge.
11. #10Pam Asberry
    February 24th, 2010 at 9:09 am
    

    Hi Kelly,
    I heard you speak at the GRW meeting, bought both “Time to Write” and “Thinking Write” and have found them to be very inspirational. Just what I need at this point in my writing journey! I haven’t reached the point of collecting rejection letters yet, as I’m still working on my first manuscript. But I am committed to writing the very best story I am capable of. And when that book is finished, I plan to start immediately working on the next. I anticipate continuing that process for a looong time. Because I AM A WRITER. Thank you for the encouragement!
    Pam
12. #11J Perry Stone
    February 24th, 2010 at 9:43 am
    

    I’m too damn scared to even answer this question, Kelly. Boy do I need your workshop.
13. #12ADTirey66
    February 24th, 2010 at 10:11 am
    

    I don’t think I have a number–writing has been such a buried dream for so long that even a rejection would be a step in the right direction. I think I’m helped here by the one thing I’ve done that compares, in my opinion, to being a writer. That’s training for the Olympics. As my former teammate Jeff Rouse(a silver-medalist in the backstroke, 2x) says, I’ve lost thousands of races in hopes of winning a race at the right time. Wanna talk early mornings? Done them. Heck, at one point I practiced 3 times a day, not counting dry land (I was a swimmer). And in the end? I got the ultimate NO. My body gave out. But I have the mindset of “just get back in the pool” from those thirteen years, and I think it’s an invaluable gift as I begin to seriously pursue publishing. Go for the gold, ladies.
14. #13Kelly L Stone
    February 24th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
    

    Hi everyone!

    Thanks so much for the comments. Susan, you make a good point– sometimes rejections are for a purpose. We can’t see what those are, but everything works out in the end. 300!! Wow. Way to go.

    Linsey, thanks for reading Time to Write! And thanks for rethinking your number!

    Pam, great attitude!

    J Perry– you always bring a smile to my face. If I had to guess, I’d say you don’t have a number either.

    Thanks ladies!
    Kelly
15. #14Darcy Crowder
    February 24th, 2010 at 4:22 pm
    

    Hi Kelly, thanks for being here. I have both of your books and love them! As for a number…I’ve never considered a number of rejections as a determinant of when I’d stop writing. Now, I have considered how many years I’d keep at it, but I don’t think I’ll ever quit. I love the art of story too much.
16. #15Kelly L Stone
    February 24th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
    

    Hi AD, thanks for the comparison to sports. I agree with your friend. Thanks for sharing that.

    Darcy, good for you! Thanks for your comment.

    ~Kelly
17. #16Kelly L Stone
    February 24th, 2010 at 7:02 pm
    

    Hi everyone, don’t forget if you want a signed bookplate to email me your snail mail addy– kelly@kellylstone.com

    Thanks, Kelly
18. #17Tami Brothers
    February 24th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
    

    Great post, Kelly! I never really thought about my “number” before. I have thought about the number of years but I didn’t give a huge amount of thought to the number of rejections because I haven’t sent off a lot of things. I really need to get back into the swing of things and start that process again.

    You’ve given me a lot to think about. I can’t wait to read your books. I’m really looking forward to Grave Secret. It was out the day I wanted to buy it at the GRW meeting.

    Thanks for blogging with us today!

    Tami
19. #18Sally Kilpatrick
    February 25th, 2010 at 11:34 am
    

    I’m a day late…and more than a dollar short, but I wanted to chime in to say that Kelly’s books are great. Time to Write is a real kick in the pants, a needed kick in the pants.

    Thanks so much Kelly. I don’t know what my number is, and I don’t plan to find out!