Linsey Lanier
Sally Kilpatrick
Sia Huff
Romily Bernard
Darcy Crowder
Marilyn Baron
Tami Brothers
Sandra Elzie
Carol Burnside
Debbie Kaufman
Maxine Davis
Tammy Schubert
Susan Carlisle
Pam Asberry
Lindy Chaffin StartEXERCISE – What’s your Favorite Opening Sentence?
First, thanks to everyone (bloggers and readers) who have participated in my challenge this month. Hope it’s been as fun for you as it has for me. And stay tuned – we’ve got more inspiration to come.
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One of the questions in my challenge was: What part of the craft do you love best? For me, the answer is “Whatever I’m obsessed with at the moment.” (I go through craft books like a chick lit heroine goes through shoes.) Right now, I’m fixated on Beginnings.
Notice the capital “B”? That’s how important I’m convinced Beginnings are. Some people even say that if you don’t hook an editor or an agent in the first few pages, you’re guaranteed to be rejected, no matter how good the rest of your book is.
Harsh truth, but it stands to reason. Isn’t that how we all judge a book in the store? If the first few paragraphs don’t grab us, we put it back on the shelf and move on. It can even be argued that the most important sentence of your book is the first one. It’s true. Some editors don’t read past the first sentence.
With that searing reality in mind, I’ve been diligently reworking the openings of some of my manuscripts, focusing especially on the first sentence.
This is how I used to start a book I named Someone Else’s Daughter.
It was a frosty day in December.
When I first wrote it, I thought, “Mmm, that’s okay.” Meaning, just okay. But even as I penned the words, an opening I heard at a cold read several years ago niggled at my mind. Actually, not the opening itself, but the panel’s unified reaction to it: “Eeew. Not the weather!”
Okay my opening was about the weather. But it was just one sentence. And a short one.
Then I started reading about the importance of openings.
I finally saw that this was not the wisest writing decision I’d ever made. That sentence was a definite yawner. It just wouldn’t do. Not for the all-important first sentence.
Here’s what I changed it to:
It was the panic that woke her.
Better? More likely to make someone read on? Make a reader want more? (If you do want to read more, you can go to my website.)
So okay. Now I could write a better opening sentence. Still I wondered, is it really worth the sweat and tears and frustration to slave over all my opening lines until they pack a Tyson-level punch? Don’t some writers get published without great first sentences? Do successful authors always open their books with zingers?
I decided to take a quick survey by pulling a few random books off my shelf. I was surprised by what I found:
~~~
“She woke in the body of a dead friend.” Nora Roberts – Carolina Moon
“You never meant to kill him.” Harlan Coben – The Innocent
“Once upon a time, in the small kingdom of Beaumontagne, there lived a young princess who decided that when she grew up, she would battle dragons.” Christina Dodd – The Barefoot Princess
“A dangerous damn place to run out of dirt.” Sherrilyn Kenyon and Dianna Love – Phantom in the Night
“‘This can’t be happening,’ Rebecca Layton murmured.” Lynn Raye Harris – Spanish Magnate, Red-Hot Revenge
~~~
I’ll admit, there were others with openings that weren’t so terrific. But that lineup of authors is pretty impressive. I think they know what they’re doing.
To be truthful, I’d heard this admonition about openings before. Why hadn’t it sunk in until now? Maybe because I wasn’t ready for it. Maybe because the really good writers make it look easy. Maybe because they pull you in so well, you’re halfway through the first chapter before you realize it.
Whatever it is, I’m convinced of the power of the opening line now. So here’s my challenge to our readers today (in addition to making your first sentences the very best they can be.):
Share with us a great opening you’ve read. Or share an opening sentence that you’ve worked hard on from one of your manuscripts. Or both.
Sound like fun? I hope so. I can’t wait to see what everyone comes up with!
Tags: craft, first lines, opening sentence, romance writing, writing, writing craft
About the author
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Linsey Lanier | http://linseylanier.com Writer of romantic mystery-suspense, romantic fantasy, and romance – with a dash of sass.
I'd like to say growing up on the tough streets of Chicago inspired my feisty heroines, but actually I was raised in a cozy little suburb, by parents who sheltered me. Guess it was other things along the way that gave me my attitude.
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March 15th, 2010 at 6:42 am
Ah, this is easy! My critique partner has a zinger that I love.
“It’s a bitch getting shot. Every time.”
(Redemption By Blood by Debbie Kaufman)
A couple of my own:
Flying had always been as natural as swimming or horseback riding…until recently.
(Memories Are The Last Dance)
or
“Twenty-six years old and never married. In the Old West, she would have been labeled a spinster and relegated to teaching reading, writing and arithmetic to someone else’s children.
(Surrender at Rockford Point)
Great Post…I really enjoyed it.
Sandy
March 15th, 2010 at 6:52 am
In every life there is a turning point. — Julia Quinn “When He was Wicked”
March 15th, 2010 at 7:36 am
Linsey –
Thanks for including an opening to one of my and Sherri’s BAD agency books.
I think any of you who have been in my Power Openings workshop know this is a favorite area of mine. Since I’ll be teaching that in April at GRW I’m going to just give you one that’s not a favorite, but interesting –
The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of Arthur Dent waking up and suddenly remembering where he was. [Life, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adam]
I’m not much for a weather opening or a setting opening that doesn’t start pulling me into the story right off the bat. (Mary and I will be giving a brand new “Active Settings” workshop in April too just because of the problem of settings slowing a story)
Great Post. I’ll jump back over later to see more openings.
March 15th, 2010 at 8:48 am
Okay, Sandy, that was “Getting shot was a bitch. Everytime.” LOL!
Here’s a rough draft of my new one:
Late was bad enough, but late because the cemetary voices wouldn’t leave you alone was not an excuse her sphinx of a psychiatrist was likely to let ride.
March 15th, 2010 at 9:10 am
My favorite of all time:
“The vampire on her couch had a serious blood phobia.” Hotter After Midnight by Cynthia Eden.
I laughed for a full ten minutes before I could read the next line. Great book BTW!
March 15th, 2010 at 10:21 am
“Heart transplant. He’s only three,” Hannah Quinn repeated in stunned disbelief. Mine from “Change of Heart.”
Opennings are important. I rework mine over and over and still go back and redo weeks later. Starting in action is improtant but finding the important action can be even tougher.
March 15th, 2010 at 11:15 am
Wow, this is great. Thanks everyone for the great openings. Makes me want to read every story.
Sandy, thanks for sharing your opening. And I love Debbie’s first line. The quote from Surrender at Rockford Point demonstrates how much you can pack into a sentence or two. Good example.
Nicki, I like that. No wonder Julia Quinn is a best seller.
Dianna, had to include that line. It was great. I’m so looking forward to April. Now that I know you’ll be doing Power Openings, I’m even more excited. I love that Douglas Adam opening line. Now that makes you want to read more.
Thanks for that correction, Debbie. That does have more oomph.
I like the new one, too.
Tammy, thanks for stopping by. Yes, that is a great, funny line!
March 15th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
What a fun exercise. I’m not near any of my books, so I’ll have to share a couple of my own:
I never expected to attend my own funeral, but the marquee clearly said Samantha Louise Hughes.
or
My name is Beulah Land, and I’m here today to give my testimony.
I also read a great opening line in my Golden Heart, but I can’t repeat that one. It was great–almost as good as Debbie’s.
March 15th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
“No one had ever seen her naked until her death.” (The Birth of Venus)
“You better not never tell nobody but God.” (The Color Purple)
“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.”
(the 1st Harry Potter book)
Oh, there are so many!
March 15th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Mine from Strike Three-You’re Mine:
On a frigid, wet Christmas Eve, Nikki Logan’s carefully constructed, secret life came apart at the seams.
It wasn’t pretty.
March 15th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Sally, those sound like two intriguing stories!
Love those, Maxine. Yes, there are a lot of them. Kind of proves the point about how vital the first sentence is to getting published.
Oh, Ana. You gave me goosebumps. Is “Strike Three-You’re Mine” out? Where can we find it on Wild Rose Press?
March 15th, 2010 at 7:49 pm
I’ve read Sally’s, “My name is Beulah Land, and I’m here today to give my testimony.” And not only is that a great opening line, but the story itself, the first three chapters I’ve read were just as good!
I love Debbie’s too. Getting shot is a good way to start a book.
I kind of like this one that I wrote, ” Nikolas Drakos tugged the Hagose Demon’s claws from his shoulder and shoved her other hand off his ass.” (Lover’s Haven)
And my contemporary WIP starts, ”
“Go screw yourself, dickhead.”
About to tip her cab driver, Sophie glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the slurred shout.”
Umm…sorry about the cursing. I guess I like to start my books with a little bit of sailor in them.
Excellent post Linsey and love the beginnings every body sent, including yours.
Have a brilliant evening,
Tamara
March 15th, 2010 at 7:50 pm
I jumped back in and have had a great time reading opening lines – yours and others – but if I start commenting on each one I’ll miss dinner. Love, love, love them all.
Susan – I was so impressed that you started a nonfiction with a great line.
March 15th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
My current opening line:
Four weeks to freedom.
March 15th, 2010 at 10:10 pm
Favorite of all time is…”It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man of good fortune must be in want of a wife.” This line is especially brilliant when you understand that loads of important philosophical treatises of the time started with “It is a truth universally acknowledged…” What a line that sets the tone and theme of the whole book.
Great post, except now I’m super paranoid about how crappy my first line must be.
March 15th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
Tamara, love it, love it, love it! Kickbutt heroines are my favorite. Thanks for the compliment. You are a sweetheart.
Had to come back for more, Dianna? So glad you did! And that you liked what you saw. Yes, I missed Susan’s before. Stunning opening. And she’s right. The secret is letting your opening sit and then revising until you get that kick.
Intriguing, Carol. I want more.
Jane Austen! Another goose-bump moment, Anna. You must like GPB, too. Is your first line really that crappy? That’s hard to believe, I’d ask someone else if it’s really that bad. But if it’s not all it can be, don’t be paranoid. Be bold. Face it. Hack it up until it does what you need it to do. It’s the only way, and you’re a terrific writer. I know you can do it.
March 15th, 2010 at 10:37 pm
I love all those lines. Talk about catchy.
Here is one from a book I read recently that kept me up until 4 am. It’s actually two. Is that cheating???
“You know how some people are born to Greatness? Well, Bobbie Fay Sumrall woke up one morning, kicked Greatness in the teeth, kneed it in the balls, took it hostage, and it’s been begging for mercy ever since.” From Charmed and Dangers by Toni McGee Causey.
I can’t say enough about how this book grabbed me and would NOT let me put it down and the whole story is bounces from that intro.
There are sooooo many more, I could type all night. But like Linsey said, there are a bunch of not so good ones. I just looked back through mine and here are two that I have and am now not all that impressed with…
“Kevin Calhoun felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight out.” From In Her Wildest Dreams
“He’s going to kill me!” From Second Chances.
I think I need to do some rewrites!!!!
Tami
March 15th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
Wow, Tami. That Toni McGee Causey line is something else. Great example. I’d say yours are in that “not so bad” stage. Keep working on them. I see seeds of possibilities there.
Thanks so much to everyone for participating today! You’ve given me a lot of examples to go to for inspiration in the future.
March 16th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Hey Linsey -
Great post! And I love all the first lines. My most recent wip starts: Life can change in an instant.