Linsey Lanier
Sally Kilpatrick
Sia Huff
Romily Bernard
Darcy Crowder
Marilyn Baron
Tami Brothers
Sandra Elzie
Carol Burnside
Debbie Kaufman
Maxine Davis
Tammy Schubert
Susan Carlisle
Pam Asberry
Lindy Chaffin StartNot Rocket Science, but Close
by Anna Steffl
Which sentence is more true:
A. Everybody thinks thinks they can write a book because they’ve read books.
B. Everybody thinks they can build a car because they can drive cars.
I know you said A. The only people who say B have grease stains on their church pants.
Everyone says A because books are made out of simple, familiar things: words. No catalytic converter required by government regulation. Loads of would-be writers, because of the seeming simplicity of the building blocks involved, jump in and start THE BOOK. Once in a bazillion times, someone intuitively knows how to fit 80,000 words together. No words left out. No words left over. Everything in its proper place. You have my leave to despise those freaks of talent with every chamber of your heart.
Everyone else cheerfully knocks out a crappy first book and enthusiastically sends it to every poor agent in the universe. At some point, usually 33.5 rejections later (one got so mangled by the mail-sorter there’s no telling what it actually said), the aspiring novelist faces the reality that crafting a book involves more than simple words. There’s plot, character, scene construction, showing not telling, arcs, tension, dialog, pacing, conflict, irony, and dozens of more things that have to work together. Every sentence must do more than one thing. Like a car, we usually don’t think about how it works until it breaks. So too, a book. We don’t think about the mechanics of writing until the writing doesn’t work. The struggling writer plunks down $125 for craft/repair manuals.
Second time around, writing the novel isn’t such a blissfully ignorant joy. Our writer knows to “show not tell,” but doesn’t quite get how to do it. If she’s smart, she joins a writer’s group sprinkled with near-published and published authors (blatant shout-out to Georgia Romance Writers). A generous critique will demonstrate to our aspiring author HOW she could show what she’s now telling.
Third time around? Isn’t that supposed to be the charm? Maybe. But this is hard stuff. Consider how many people work on Hollywood movies. They have script consultants up the wazoo. Still, movies come out that just suck. All the biggest brains in California couldn’t save them from crappiness.
So, when you get to the point where little old you, working alone on your little old laptop, craft something fine, award yourself an honorary PhD. This isn’t rocket science, but it’s close.
Tags: Anna Steffl, rocket science, writing
About the author
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Anna Steffl | Anna is a petit four, but with the icing scraped off – all cake with just a thin layer of sweetness in the middle. In novel-land, she writes a post-apocalyptic paranormal series. In the blogosphere, she resorts to humor as it’s her first-line defense against stress. Writing a blog is as nerve-wracking as writing a research paper, except the stakes are higher. People actually read a blog. For retribution, boring a professor is acceptable. Boring a blog reader – never. When she’s not writing or stressing, Anna enjoys watching football or NASCAR and sipping Cognac. On a few rare days a year when the stars and beverages align, she can do all three at once
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March 23rd, 2010 at 1:02 am
Yeah, writing a novel is definitely not the slam-dunk a lot of people think it is. Far from it.
March 23rd, 2010 at 4:40 am
Hi Anna Love your wit and thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog today. Many years ago I was impressed at how many peoplle said they were going to write a novel…one that had been rattling around in their heads…but now I know that few accomplish it and even fewer have what it takes to make it past rejection after rejection.
Really loved the engine comparisons…obviously you enjoy NASCAR.
Can’t wait to sing your one of these days…soon. Love your humor. Sandy
March 23rd, 2010 at 4:43 am
Can’t wait to “sing your”? OMG…try….SIGN YOURS. Yes, its early and I’m waiating on the coffee pot to finish. :>) Sandy
March 23rd, 2010 at 7:34 am
Superb post, Anna. Delightfully written, as usual. You are right. Novel writing is right up there with engineering and astrophysics. And it’s so difficult to explain why that is to someone who hasn’t experienced it.
March 23rd, 2010 at 7:49 am
Wonderful metaphor. I think all of us have the novelist’s equivalent of grease on our church pants.
One thing’s for sure, writing’s not for sissies!
March 23rd, 2010 at 7:49 am
Anna – lol on building a car…Good post.
I always say I loved the early golden days of writing on my first book when the acronym GMC [Goal, motivation,conflict] meant nothing to me. Tapping on keys back then was so easy.
When people hear I’m an author someone in the group will say they’ve been “thinking” about writing a book. I encourage everyone to write whatever excites them even though I know 99.9 percent will never write the first word. But once in a while “one” does and it’s exciting to see where that person goes with their writing.
I’m sort of used to the “that must not be too hard” mentality. I can remember painting a 90′ long mural with 20′ tall faces of movie stars and sports stars on a wall [in the summer heat] that was only 15 feet off the ground in downtown Atlanta. I had lots of people stop by to tell me they were an artist and they’d liked to do that some time. I would offer them my paint brush and paints. They would remember an important appointment at that moment.
March 23rd, 2010 at 7:53 am
Great post, Anna. Writing a book IS a lot harder than it looks.
Marilyn
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:18 am
Truth is, it annoys me when ANYONE “knows better” concerning even the most common endeavors … even the rotten customer bitching about the way the server brings them their food in a restaurant.
It’s the arrogance that is repulsive to me, as well as the fact they aren’t really seeing the other person enough to acknowledge their struggle.
Wonderful post, Anna. ‘Cept now I’m pissed.
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:26 am
OMG, Anna, never were truer words penned! And on the other end of that same yardstick, it seems that those who are ignorant of the writing/publishing process can’t seem to bend their minds around the concept that the writing of the book doesn’t necessarily mean that book will be published.
It just gets under my skin and turns me into a demented lunatic to hear “so when’s your book coming out?” Arrgh!
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:41 am
There are days I think I’d be a better mechanic and I’m ready to trade in my computer for my coveralls, LOL! I am constantly amazed at how much I’ve learned and still have to learn. It’s no wonder Hemingway, Faulkner, etc. drank.
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:02 am
Guilty as charged. The good news is I didn’t get very far into the novel writing process before I realized I didn’t have a clue what I was doing–and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it! Thanks to all of you established GRW members for welcoming the likes of me into your fold and being so generous with your knowledge and experience. I still have a long way to go, but I’m getting better!
March 23rd, 2010 at 10:03 am
You’re right. People do think there’s nothing to writing a book-anyone can do it. I smile and encourage but know they have no idea about it. Sometimes I giggle after they leave wishing I could be there when the light blinks on.
March 23rd, 2010 at 11:56 am
From your mouth to the world’s ears. Great post, Anna!
I really want to foot-stomp a couple of points here for those people who are “new” to the world of writing.
1) This post points out that writing a book “sounds” easy until someone actually sits down and writes the darn thing, then they find out just how hard it is going to be. Sadly, very few people get past this first hurdle.
2) The next point that she hinted at but that I want to make perfectly clear is that ignorance is bliss. As tough as it was to write that very first novel, it isn’t until you are working on #2, #3 or even #30 (or so I’ve heard) that you realize the first one was the easiest. Like Dianna pointed out in an earlier comment, “I loved the early golden days of writing on my first book when the acronym GMC [Goal, motivation, conflict] meant nothing to me. Tapping on keys back then was so easy.”
Most people who read these blogs understand that we aren’t trying to discourage anyone from writing. By all means, no way. We were once where you are. It’s just that our individual journeys might have been a bit smoother if we’d gone into the process with a bit more facts. Hopefully, by reading our blog and others like it, someone else who’s fresh off the starting line will have a bit more understanding of where the potholes are that lay before them.
Thanks for a very enlightening post!!!
Tami
March 23rd, 2010 at 2:42 pm
I’m not published…yet. Most of you guys know that about me. And what you might not know either is that I labor over perfection. It’s my friggin Achilles heel.
I know nobody is perfect. We can’t be, we’re human. But I still drive myself crazy with putting together the right combination of words to get not only a novel right, but each friggin sentence right too.
Reading your post told me something (as your posts always do)
If the car companies can whip out one completed automobile after another, day after day, week after week, creating stylish, safe peices of complex machinery capable of transporting us where ever we want to go, then I too can turn out a novel, cover to cover in a limited amount of time.
I have to keep in mind “No body is perfect.” Not even the car companies. Hell look at the Yugo.
Anyway, I know my little revalation wasn’t really what you were getting at, but reading your post helped me see not only your point clearly, but the car analogy too.
Loved the post Anna!
Thanks for the wisdom and the chuckle.
Have a great afternoon,
Tamara
March 23rd, 2010 at 2:51 pm
Great post, Anna. Love the analogy.
Cinthia, I can do that “so when’s your book coming out” comment one better. I was talking to someone once about my second book I was working on and someone else overheard and said, “But, you already wrote a book.” Like having written one meant I’d gotten it out of my system and could now go on to other, more important, things. Sigh, they just didn’t get it…
March 23rd, 2010 at 3:26 pm
I’m such a goober. I was checking the blog a little late in the day — thought my post was tomorrow and…here are all these great comments on my post. I loved reading them — laughing, sighing, totally sympathizing.
One of my favorite movies is Sideways. It totally captures what it’s like to be an unpublished author. Now there’s a movie where the writer gets it right.
March 23rd, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Oh Sideways. I particularly love that scene between Miles and the girl where they’re talking about what they both love about wine. Made the whole movie for me.
March 23rd, 2010 at 6:24 pm
JPS –
Pinot.
March 23rd, 2010 at 6:27 pm
You know, I think the reason why people think writing a novel is so easy is that great writers make it look easy.
March 23rd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Is it after 5 yet?
March 23rd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
JPS — I’ve already started.
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:58 pm
OMG, Darcy…and you didn’t start bashing your head against the nearest hard surface??? I’d have either done that, or walked away laughing hysterically.
JPS, elderberry. Bwahahaha.
March 23rd, 2010 at 9:10 pm
After reading these comments over and over, and still marveling, I know my next topic: What do people say when you tell them you’re a writer? We already have a few doozies!
March 24th, 2010 at 9:45 pm
I was out of town last night (not bragging LOL- I was with my sister!!) and couldn’t comment until tonight.
Anna, I loved your post! You are just so funny! And, oh brother, you are right. Someone is always ‘going to write a book’ when I tell them what I do!