Linsey Lanier
Sally Kilpatrick
Sia Huff
Romily Bernard
Darcy Crowder
Marilyn Baron
Tami Brothers
Sandra Elzie
Carol Burnside
Debbie Kaufman
Maxine Davis
Tammy Schubert
Susan Carlisle
Pam Asberry
Lindy Chaffin StartTone Deaf
by J Perry Stone
What is it with tone that it has so much significance in so many different arenas?
In music, tone indicates the sound of a particular pitch. My poor son cannot hit a note to save his life. You can imagine how this goes over when the classically trained grandparents come to visit and he’s singing along with the car radio. Lots ‘o wincing and laughing behind hands.
In art, tone suggests the lightness/darkness of a color. You’ve heard of photographic memory? I have it, but only when it comes to color. I can remember exact shades. This ability comes in handy when decorating, but is particularly useful when matching outfits. I’ve never needed a swatch or color sample in hand, ever.
In terms of muscle tone …. Yeah, forget it. Number one, I find talk of muscles extremely boring, and two: the current state of my ass has filled me with such dismay, I’d rather run screaming for the hills than discuss it further.
Tone when it comes to words, however, endlessly fascinates me–as well as frustrates me. In case you need a refresher, tone is the expression of the author’s attitude towards both subject and audience.
When I write about romance, my family, good food and wine–I’m sure my tone goes frothy fangirlish.
Economics? If one’s writerly tone can flatline, mine does.
Equal rights? Aggressive. I don’t play when it comes to equal rights.
But some days, I fail miserably. Something shorts out between brain and fingertip that when I want my words to be serious, they come across trite. When I’m going for a little sarcasm, I come across mean, and when I want desperately to come across as clever, I simply sound dim. Ever had to explain a joke? Crickets. This happens to me. A lot.
If it weren’t for emoticons ( 
), I know several people who would unfriend me on Facebook because of my tone disorder. I actually hate relying on them, but I have no other choice. When you’re an aspiring author, however, you can’t use emoticons in books, so what do I do when my tone misfires? As I’ve been polishing my novel, I find myself rolling my eyes where I attempted to go for chest-squeezing emotion. I’ve even gotten a little bored with my attempts at heart-racing action. It seems I have become my own worst kind of studio audience–laughing when I should cry, and hurling when I should laugh.
Alas, when it comes to the kind of tone I care about most (in writing), I freely admit to being tone-deaf. And while I may wince at this discovery, I most definitely am not laughing behind my hand.
How about you? Where has tone failed you (and if anyone mentions muscle tone, I promise you, I will both roll my eyes 
AND get bored 8) )?
Tags: J Perry Stone, Tone
About the author
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J Perry Stone | J Perry Stone has a big mouth and bigger heart; a short memory and shorter attention span. She's uncomfortable with pretension and formality, and couldn't live in this world without ethnic food, wine and saucy books.
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March 26th, 2010 at 4:41 am
Hi JPS,
Enjoyed your post…as always. Love your sense of humor. Tone…hummm, I’ve been misunderstood numerous times in e-mails.
As to writing, when I feel that I’m boring myself with how I describe things…emotions…when I don’t feel the tone is right, I have someone else read it to see what they think and then I go read an author who has great tone/descriptive voice and I usually get back on track.
Sandy
March 26th, 2010 at 6:55 am
That’s a great idea, Sandy. Reading a master is a great tone tune-up.
And yeah. I get misunderstood in emails as well. It’s really frustrating because I think I’m offending people and that certainly is not my intention.
March 26th, 2010 at 7:10 am
I think tone is colored by the reader as well as the writer. I know that’s true in emails! You cracked me up with the considering the tone of your ass comment. I just want to point out that if you go running for the hills over that, you will find I beat you there
March 26th, 2010 at 7:23 am
Debbie, if aging was a person, it would have no sense of humor (and I’d never invite it over for dinner because of such ;0)
You’re dead on about tone being colored by the reader. And I know I won’t be able to please everyone, particularly if said person is uber-sensitive and looking to be offended. I just don’t want to hurt people, but I tend to be blurty anyway, so many times I do. ?? It’s a problem for me.
March 26th, 2010 at 9:21 am
Wonderful post, very funny. It gives me a lot to think about.
Re: The ass-toning comment, I have taken the hill and planted my flag.
It’s interesting that you mentioned problems with sarcasm. I use that a lot in my work and the tone has come across as mean or unsympathetic. It’s a delicate balancing act. I never thought of it as a tone problem until you pointed it out today. So thanks.
Marilyn
March 26th, 2010 at 9:37 am
J–great post from yet another person who has been misunderstood in e-mail. Unfortunately, I’m always wanting to crack a joke whether in e-mail or in person. Often, they fall flat.
That said, i was heartened by some recent feedback (this doesn’t happen often). Even though the judge was less than enthusiastic about my entry, she liked a very serious scene and said it moved her close to tears. I got there by being as minimal as possible, and I made a note.
Great food for thought. I’ll resist the urge to add an emoticon this time.
March 26th, 2010 at 9:52 am
Seriously, great post. You have a very unique tone. People either love it or don’t get it. Embrace the people who love it.
at humorless souls who don’t.
March 26th, 2010 at 10:25 am
PJ
Tone I think is something that you don’t realize you have in a certain direction until you reread what you’ve written. I wish I had a more humorous tone in my writing. I can’t be a humorous person but that doesn’t always come across when I write. Great food for thought.
March 26th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
JP, now I know why you’re such a spiffy dresser! Your photographic color memory. Amazing.
I think in some ways, we’re all tone deaf when it comes to writing. That’s why email newbies always WRITE IN ALL CAPS, not realizing it “looks” like they’re yelling, LOL.
But when it comes to writing our novels, you are not alone. We all struggle with this. I remember reading about a famous unnamed writer who read a draft of a new manuscript to a group of readers. The writer was very emotional about the piece, but the listeners were unmoved. Big disconnect. Although this was a famous writer, she wasn’t yet able to convey what was inside her onto the page. I’m sure she managed to eventually. That’s the real secret of writing, in my opinion. Getting what’s inside you onto the page as you feel it and see it (of course you have to have something inside you to convey, but that’s another topic.)
When you’re working with humor, you’re always at a double disadvantage. Some people have no sense of humor. Others just won’t get it. If it’s any consolation, your posts always pack an emotional punch with me, as well as make me smile.
March 26th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Marilyn, LOL about the hill.
And I’m entirely with you on sarcasm. Sometimes I think I should do away with it altogether, but that would be like a zebra wearing solids.
March 26th, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Off to bus stop. Be back in a minute.
March 26th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
I worry about my tone online all the time. It’s so easy to offend when that wasn’t the intention at all. I use a lot of
because I’m too lazy to click on the emoticons. LOL!
I don’t have a photographic color memory – but close. Many times I’ve matched something in my closet without having to take it with me. I think it comes from all the years I made my own clothes and matched buttons, thread, lace, ribbon, etc with the fabric. Plus, I studied art in college. Guess that helped some too.
And just for you…
March 26th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Sally, when I once tried to go minimal, someone told me I was too spare. I don’t do well with moderation so you’re extremely fortunate it worked for you.
I want to read that scene, if you don’t mind.
And your jokes do NOT fall flat. You hear that obnoxious cackling in the back of the rooms during meetings? That’s me laughing at your jokes.
March 26th, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Anna, the green emoticon looks like a pervert to me. He’s too blue to be “green with envy” and his expression is too strained to be anything other than thrilled over what he just saw in Mrs. Foster’s window.
Dirty little bastard.
And you’re right. I need to give up the quest to bring everyone over to the snark side.
March 26th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Like mistakes, tone is most evident in retrospect. Good point, Susan. Although, I really do wish my writing would cooperate a bit more.
March 26th, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Linsey, you’re the sweetest. I don’t know why you’re so kind to me, but you are. I {{heart}} you (and we need an actual heart in the emoticon selection, I’m thinking).
Your story about the famous author encourages me. I’m hoping my tone-disorder will go away with more practice.
You said: “Getting what’s inside you onto the page as you feel it and see it.”
It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? I wish it really were.
And you’re right. Humor is especially difficult. I love irony but it will always fall flat with the literalists.
March 26th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
You made your own clothes, Carol??? We need to talk. I would love to do that, but I feel I need someone to walk me through the basics. I once made a wrap skirt out of Indian Sari material for my sister.
Would have helped considerally if I knew how to sew before starting that little project.
Oy.
March 26th, 2010 at 3:30 pm
After reading this post and the many others you’ve penned (or typed)over the past year and a half, it’s very hard to believe you have any trouble with tone.
Maybe its because you seem to have the same sense of humor that I do.
I happen to think you’re funny as hell! And your tone sounds just fine to me.
Don’t be so hard on yourself woman.
Just say,”F—- it!” And write!
That’s what I’ve been doing lately and I’ve been getting the pages done…FINALLY!
Oh and don’t even start talking about ass issues. I’m going to the beach for spring break, went to bathing suit shop today and nearly threw up on the changing room floor. My ass has more dimples then a golf ball…a huge golf ball.
Keep writing my dear!
Have a great weekend,
Tamara
March 26th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
JPS,
I love your tone in your writing. I always laugh –and I think in the places I was supposed to! Loved your post today. So funny.
I know what you mean. My ‘tone’ has landed me in deep stuff more than once – why can’t people take it like it was meant?!
March 26th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
JPS, I also have trouble believing your tone is as “off” as you think it is. I also enjoy what you’ve written.
I share Marilyn’s issues with sarcasm. It’s my natural outlet, and I have to be really, really careful to be sure it comes across in a way that isn’t mean.
I hope I succeed.
March 26th, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Yeah, Tamara. You’re not allowed NOT to get my tone as we usually wear/hear/give off the same one.
I do need to say “F it” more. I really do. I’ll print it out, in big blocked letters, and post it over my desk.
Great suggestion.
And golf ball ass? I will beat you the next time I see you, you know. You’re gorgeous and you must be destroyed
March 26th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
Maxine,
You’re always laughing. This is a sign to me you will always get my tone and I will always get yours.
I love how those of us who’ve ventured out into the humorous waters all get in trouble. It’s treacherous out there, isn’t it?
I think you’re right though. Surely it isn’t OUR fault people aren’t getting our tone? (Should I have used the “winking” emoticon here?)
March 26th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Nancy, my problem is the same as yours and Marilyn’s.
It’s the sarcasm. There is such a fine line between it and mean. Because I’m not so good with subtlety/moderation, I seem to trip over that line ALL THE TIME.
You do not. I read your stuff on Banditas. You’re wonderful.
March 26th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
JP,
Your humor is contagious! I laughed through the entire blog and then your comments to your readers!
I love a good, sarcastic voice, and I don’t ever take it as being mean. Now there are some people who are downright mean and their sarcasm just isn’t funny.
But yours? You have a generous heart and would never knowingly hurt anyone…unless they hurt your child…your family…your friends…the little old lady down the street…
Ana
March 26th, 2010 at 7:18 pm
JP, wonderful, wonderful post. Everything you said was spot on! I’m usually so afraid I’ll offend or be misunderstood that I don’t say anything at all – which is no good because that can be misunderstood as well. Sigh. I love your tone. I think you have a wonderful mix of compassion and sarcasm.
March 26th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Ana, I feel that you’re family. Be sure, family member, you keep part of your conference room open for me and my stuff.
Your generosity, just now, has made me feel all smooshy inside.
Again, where the hell’s that heart emoticon?
And it takes a generous heart to recognize its mirror in another.
March 26th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
Darcy, I don’t think you could offend if you tried. I truly don’t.
I see you pretty clearly. You’re wonderful and have absolutely no cause to restrain yourself.
March 26th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
JP – Great post. I’m still laughing over all the green comments.
tone is a scary thing online sometimes but you ladies all come across wonderfully.
March 27th, 2010 at 4:36 am
J,
You make me laugh…always. Don’t you love that we get each other?
Lets say F—- it! Together!
Jeesh!!! Don’t you wish we didn’t have to use the dashes. I mean, that’s one of my favorite words damn it!
You better B Writing!
Luv U,
T
March 27th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
LOVE IT!!! JP, you are a hoot.
Sorry so late. Killer week at school and now doing house projects, but I wanted you to know that I did read this and loved every comment and reply. Great tone…wink….
Tami